Frustration and sadness. That is how I feel.
My OB *still* didn't make rounds today, and today it wasn't even the other OB from her practice, it was one from their general large group, who said she has no way of contacting my OB. Thanks.
First of all, I AM NOT GOING HOME BEFORE BABY. Period. No matter how long. I want to cry. Given my history and the large amount of protein in my urine already, they cannot allow me to go home because I need constant monitoring. So I will be in the hospital for Thanksgiving. :(
My bp is still fine today (I think 126 over 73 or something), as I noted below, protein is high- 2,000. The OB today said that is moderate.
The OB today didn't have the wonderful bedside manner that my OB has so it just made it a bit worse. I'm already just emotional lately. I was trying to tell her I just feel really frustrated, I miss my baby, I cannot be in here for 6 weeks, but of course she basically told me what I already knew that we have to do what is best for the baby, which is keeping him in as long as possible (duh, of course I know that), and that to her, 34 weeks sounds really early so if my bp stays as is, I will be in this prison a lot longer than two weeks.
So I asked her if basically we are just waiting to see what my bp does, and we won't deliver unless/until my bp spikes, and she said no, if my labs go bad (which I know won't happen- they were good the day we delivered ella- the labs look for HELLP) OR I start having any of the pre-e symptoms (even if my bp is still ok), which are things like ongoing headache, visual disturbances, blurry vision or pain under the right breast. By this point with Ella, I was having a lot of the symptoms, but I didn't know they were symptoms of pre-e.
If it weren't for Ella, this would be 1,000 times easier. Is hospital bedrest fun for 4 or 6 weeks? Uh, no. But I could totally do it with no kid at home. I'm missing her more and more, I'm getting emotional, I'm totally bored, I don't feel like myself because I literally do NOT sleep at night (wide awake all night), and I feel bad because I know this is inconvenient for everyone. Poor Gary has to drive Ella here 1-2 times a day, which is up to two hours of drive time a day alone. He is now going to try and leave work early every Tuesday and Thursday to pick her up from school and bring her here, which obviously isn't good for his career. My mom now has to bring her here the days she has her, and we don't know what we're going to do on Mondays and Fridays from now on, especially since I don't think any of our nannies can do full days (if they can even do Mondays or Fridays at all). And don't get me started on the petty things like having basically NO tv channels...how can I survive without Real Housewives and having to watch commercials?? I'm stressed, sad and frustrated.
I'm sorry for the total pity party post. I'm just so sad today! My eyes keep watering, and I'm trying not to cry. I think it's a lot from lack of sleep. I know I'm being a total complainer, and it could be a lot worse so I just need to buck up! Maybe tomorrow.
So, I probably won't have as many updates now since nothing is going to change unless my BP spikes.