Today was my first day back at work. I'm working at home every day but Wednesday when I'm in the office (and of course when I'm at court or mediations), but I went in today to get organized, pick up my new cases, etc. I have to say, I was so happy to be back! Everyone was so welcoming, and my boss is being so great and understanding with my schedule.
I was initially supposed to go back on March 1st, but I just wasn't ready so I stretched it out to April 1st, which was the right thing to do because I was so ready to go back today! Don't get me wrong, being a mommy is the greatest thing that ever happened to me, and I love being with my little peanut more than anything in the world, BUT being a stay at home mom is the hardest thing I've ever done! I am in awe of women that stay at home with more than one child- you are rock stars! This is the first time in SIX MONTHS that I didn't feel rushed, worried, scatter-brained, etc. If I'm out with Ella, I'm rushed to get back to the house for naps or feedings. If I'm not with Ella, I'm rushed to get back to the house to relieve the person watching her. Today, I just felt relaxed. I knew Ella was safe with my mom, and I finally felt like a 'real' person again sitting in my office, being around all adults, talking about work...it was fabulous!
I am so hoping everything works out, and that this is the right balance of work and being a mommy. I'm working 80% so that I am still able to do playdates and things during the day and not feel guilty about it. I just feel so happy! Maybe you really can have it all.
Now, talk to me in a month and see if I feel the same way. ;)